Just plain pissed

I'm really angry right now and the reason why is pretty shallow. I know I asked for stress but I didn't mean it like this. I wanted to at least have stress that would actually be productive, but as things are now. Everything is just piling up. And I feel like all this anger is getting channeled onto my relationship with some people I'm not exactly close with. I know they aren't exactly doing anything wrong but it feels like as if, some of the things that are happening right now's just their fault. I know it's unfair but still. I'm trying my best to avoid making contact or else things might get worse. Anyway, i will now sleep, get some rest, and maybe blow off some steam, thinking about that one cure girl i can't seem to forget... :)) tangina, pati blog ko about stress is turning from a rant of hate into a rant about someone i want to see but just can't because I don't know her name, she's from a lower batch, and she's too shy to even pass by tambayan... ARGH... why! pati ba siya kasama sa stressors ko? Tulog na nga... :))

Sin

I know everyone commits mistakes and has his or her own way of handling it. But everyone has that one flaw that whatever we do, we can never cure. We can never accept one part of ourselves and no matter what we do there is no way we can cure it. But this sometimes happen subconsciously and it takes a lot of thinking to actually understand what that something is. I am no psychology major so everything here is just me saying what I realized while thinking to myself.

I am too prideful. that's the part of me that I can never accept nor will I ever be able to remove. I am not saying this because I read too much manga or anime for that matter. I am saying this because after realizing that all of my thoughts were about the downfall of the ones I'm mad at. I just can't accept it. How can I live a happy life but all I want is to see everyone else suffer. But after thinking about it, it's already a part of me and i won't be able to change that. But I will never accept it.

College

I started out college with the idea of changing... But at my first year, it didn't felt that way. I was still the same boy who made others do things I needed to do myself. I did join some organization but with out commitment, it didn't last. The following years I dropped my previous org an joined a new one. At the first term it didn't felt different, I only attended one activity and it didn't felt like I improved. The next term I decided to join their Junior Officer's program. I thought maybe if I did work outside being a member, maybe I'll get somewhere. I did became more active and it felt a lot more productive compared to the pass. I'm note sure if I changed or not, But that doesn't matter as long as I can do somethings that could help then it's already okay.


This year I decided to join a few more orgs. I'm still doubtful whether I'll be able to be active in all or them but I'm sure if I can experience new things then everything will be worth it. Because after pondering everything today... I realized I'm not the person to stay focus on one thing alone. I like thinking of different things at the same time. I don't like having boundaries around me. So I guess the only way for me to grow is for me to experience different things... :)

Today

'Today' is a day that will always happen but will never happen again. A paradox with in this world we live in. And my 'today' is something I am grateful for. I have seen some of my friends graduate and some friends who have already left. My stay with them felt really short but the moments I shared with them will never be forgotten. The experience that I have acquired while with them will forever be part of who I am and who I will become. But everyone has to move on in more ways than one. I will have to learn to let go of the expectations of having another day seeing you guys at the usual hang out and spend the time aimlessly talking about random things. I will also have to get used to having that once filled space left open as a gap, unsure of who will fill it. But the most important thing is to accept change. The you today that I have learned to appreciate will one day disappear and get replaced by a 'you' that I might not recognize but it is my duty to accept that new you because it is just a part of who You truly are.

This is why as i end this day's 'today' and wait for tomorrow's. I would like to congratulate all the people who have graduated and to say thank you for all the wonderful time you have spend with not just me but with the rest of us who you will leave behind. Let God be graceful and bless your futures.

Love Pattern

Nakakahalata lang ako pero bakit tuwing nagkakacrush ako or yung tipong gusto kong seryosohin may nauuna sa akin... Kung hindi sila close, nauuna si loko makilala si girl, kung friends sila ng matagal, bakit pag ako na ang gagalaw bigla na lang nagkakadevelopan. Medyo di patas si kupido kung ganito... :))...

Kung ito ay pagsubok ede simple lang sagot ko sa iyo kupido! Hindi ako susuko! yun lang pag wala na talaga, cge kay loko na... hahahaha

Internet

A little rest from studying... :)

I am a computer addict. I know that. I can see people looking down at people like me. Asking us, why we spend so much time at cyber space. Well the answer is simple. I prefer to stay in a world where people are able express their inner thoughts with out fear. But with recent developments, the internet that I sought peace with is starting to turn into another world were mindless people can simply log in and say their nonsensical thoughts.

Facebook is one of the most amazing addition to the thousands of online websites to have ever grace our generation. It connects us with our friends and family from outside the country and even allows us to meet new people with out actually seeing them in the real world. It can also give people the opportunity to find others who share their same likes and discuss these through organized online groups. Everything about facebook is amazing. But the recent trends that are starting to spread online is starting to annoy me.

The first one are the pictures concerning religion. I know there are a lot of religious people in the Philippines and i don't judge you for posting pictures about your God. But what annoys me are the posts, where it says. "Like this if you love God, ignore if you love the devil." All I can say to this is Fuck You! Because we simply ignored your post, you can immediately call us heretics? Damn you, I know the people posting this doesn't have any ill intent when they share the pictures. But come on, that's what the picture is trying to say. If we don't like, we are immediately tossing away our beliefs and siding with evil.

The next one is how people are sharing pictures of people with really bad diseases. I don't know if its true or not, but come on. If you really want to help these people why would you just sit in front of your computer and like some picture of them suffering? it would be better if you would actually start doing something that would actually benefit these people. I mean, there's bound to be more than one victim of these diseases, so what's the difference with curing one when there are bound to be thousand more suffering from such misfortune. I know, I'm no different, when I'm simply ranting here on my blog about such things but think about it. Are we really helping these people by liking their pictures.

And here's where I draw the last straw. Why would you people post a picture about what others are doing and start ranting about it? Let's take a picture I saw recently (the reason why I'm posting this message). It's about SM and how it's slowly cutting down trees and building countless branches. I know they aren't exactly helping mother nature by doing that but you'll criticize them when there are countless of people out there doing things worst than this? I mean, even we are no exceptions from such actions. In one way or another, we have all treated mother nature poorly. We could also have seen people doing such destructive actions but what do we do in such instances? Nothing, we would just look at them and walk away like nothing happens. And when we come home, we would start ranting about something similar just because the perpetrator is well known. So let me ask you again. What difference are you people doing?

I know this blog isn't exactly helping mother nature, nor am I doing any good just by ranting at others that who are ranting themselves. But let me tell you this now, this message is for me as is it for all of those people out there. If we want a better world, we better start changing and I'm no different. I wish for change, but if I continue as a computer addict nothing will happen. But for those who are happy just to like a stupid picture then, all I could say is FUCK YOU!

ayaw ko to post fb, baka magulpi ako... :)), anyway aral na ulit

Romantic Dreams

Okay, I'll be honest, before final exams instead of studying, I wasted my time finishing School Rumble... :)), Yeah, I'm stupid like that. But i can't seem to remove the interesting love development in that series. My favorite pairing was always Harima and Yukimo but I don't dislike the canon pairing between Harima and Eri. I mean, both are cute but it feels so nice, seeing one of girls getting jealous of the other. There's no other joy that can compare to that. :))

But i think everything just manifested just last night with this really nice dream. I'm more or less just a spectator in the love triangle unfolding in the dream. A guy is in one with a quiet innocent girl and the girl loves him back. But she can't find the strength to tell him because she knows a friend of hers, a tsundere, is also in love with the same guy. The boy tries everything to get the attention of the shy girl but she would just avoid him over and over again even though she doesn't want to. Her friend on the other hand, feels more and more envious of their relationship even thought she tries her best to get his attention. In the end, it's the tsundere girl who gets to spend a lot more time with the guy because the shy one ends up avoiding him altogether. But my favorite part should be the time they all went to sleep.

The guy lied down between the shy girl and the tsundere girl. The shy girl turned her back to the guy and went to sleep, to the dismay of the guy. The guy then decided to sleep as well, leaving the tsundere girl awake, since she's the one most affected by the development of things. The guy tossed and turned and in one point rested his hands on the hips of the shy girl. Of course it's revealed the shy girl couldn't sleep aswell and was surprise to feel his arms on her. She looked back and saw the guy sleeping soundly and in the small act of bravery turned around and rested her face on his chest, leaving the tsundere girl alone in a state of pure jelousy, she didn't knew the girl was awake and she didn't want to wake the guy she likes. That's when I woke up to the teary eyed face of a girl honestly in love.

FUCK! In all honesty I liked both the girls in my dream, both looked cute and the development was just perfect. I could smell a cat fight erupting so I rolled around in bed getting my head empty to just continue dreaming. But sadly, that never happened. T_T

Crazy Idea #2

Since I'm planning to make this a routine, here's another crazy idea for just this week.

*WARNING!* this idea is over the top crazy *WARNING!*

Uhm, medyo feeler, but why not have a competition in WG, a competition that could either spell doom or glory for the org... Hahahaha... a do or die competition. The competition will be a tie-up between us and that animation org... It will be somesort of competition that will have the participants make a 1 to 3 mins animation trailer of a show that they come up with. I know what you guys think, "Eh sino naman sasali dyan sayang lang sa oras.", "Ano naman mapapala namin dito?"... well here's another reason why this is crazy, why don't we contact some people from either abs or gma and ask them to sponsor the event... THEN! then, the winner can have their made up show turned into an actual short series... HAHAHAHAHA! shit this is more like a fantasy rather than an idea... :))

Crazy Idea #1

Hi... I just thought of placing at least one crazy idea here once a week... And this will be my first one...

First let me say, I love management rpgs. And when i say management I mean the ones where you create a character and start smashing things... :)), well the most recent game I played is called "Gladiators Begin" and it's just that. You create a gladiator and rise through the ranks, gaining favor from powerful people and eventually freedom. The game gives you enough open space to customize your character to how you want to but after a few times playing it the open-endedness seems to end.

Now that leads me to a crazy idea. Why don't they make a game on the PS3, PsVita, or PC for what I care and take the system and explore it further. I mean, instead of having a menu on before the shows, they should allow the character to freely roam the entire stable. Then they can place random days where random merchants would visit and allow sell various goods. The merchants can also have levels of respect for your character, which can be increased by performing tasks or by simply buying their goods. The skill variety on the psp game, which are divided between; shield, one hand, two hand, hand to hand. can also be expanded. But the most important part that I wish to develop is the patron system. In the game I played patrons are people who takes interest on your gladiator and gives them special events which would later trigger story events. But you're limited to five patrons and once you enter a particular story path, you'll have to give up the rest of your patrons, which kind of sucks... The thing I want to do is simple. Instead of patrons, your story would differ on three stable handlers that would buy(you'll choose) in the beginning. The patrons would simply open side stories that'll provide unique weapons that can never be found in the regular armories and merchants.

The City of Love

I am completely caught up with Phineas and Ferb recently and I can say unlike some of the most recent cartoons showing on air, it is one of the best alongside Avatar which ended a few years back. It teaches a lot about dreams, goals, and how to achieve these things while having fun. And a lot of songs caught my attention since these are the things that makes this show a lot more interesting.

But the song City of Love really hits me. Is Paris that romantic? Is it the place that makes it romantic or is it the sight of seeing couples walking hand-in-hand along the sidewalks? I won't lie and say I'm not interested in trying out myself, but I just want to know. I know reading books about the place can help me but it's not the same, why did they come to those conclusion in the first place? Does everyone share the same idea? Or do they see something else in their own eyes that gives that special spark when they walk on those streets.

This is definitely going to be one of the things in my bucket list. I want to experience that magic myself and see what makes that place so special that it's entitled the City of Love. And I hope its not as a tourist but as someone who'll say the words Ma Cherie, Ja T'aime.

One's True Self

Persona 4 has finally ended. I kinda like how they made the last episode and I believe it was totally worth watching the entire show. And to make it more epic is the fact that they'll be making an ova with the battle against Elizabeth and then there's the final battle against Izanami which should epic considering Yu'll finally perform Myriad Truth.

PLEASE COME NOW AUGUST!

Recently there has been a lot of goodbye. Shows I never knew would end has shown their last episode, People I never wish to let go has left, and a school I thought would teach my children has closed down. All of these goodbyes are so sad that I'm starting to think, not of what I should do or what could I have done to change some of them but what are the most important things I have learned from these things.

Everything will come to an end one of these days and there is nothing we could do to change this. But we can still create wonderful memories that will stay for us forever because these are the only things we can truly call immortal.

Alumni Home Coming: One Last Time

I just came from my high school's alumni homecoming. It was fun but sad at the same time, walking through the halls where you once ran around, sit on the chairs that you used to copy notes with, and look at the same sights that only a student from that school could appreciate. St. James college of Paranaque is not a perfect school. The walls are cracked, the chairs are broken, there are even holes on the chalk board. The building are not even finished. But the memories I have formed with the people I call friends can never be replaced. The ugly landscapes becomes walls filled with montages of my childhood that I know will never comeback once my school has been demolished.

St. James Paranaque, the memories I have in your protective walls will forever stay in my heart and soul till the day I die.

O hail, hail, hail to thee
Our dearest patron saint
St. James, our Alma Mater
Life and love for you.

Gintama

One of the animes that has actually bought my soul has ended once again... I know they're getting close to the manga so I understand they're predicament. But it still feels like a great lost to end the show that taught me that toilet jokes, insulting popular tv celebrities, and breaking the 4th wall can make a completely stupid show into an epic one.

GINTAMA! I WILL WAIT FOR YOUR RETURN!

Dreams: Girl

I'm not sure what these dreams mean but let me just say WTF! the first dream I had was back in tuesday. it was rather short but it gave me a really weird vibe. For one, the girl in it was a classmate I just met in tredtwo (seriously!?) and we were sitting besides each other in some park in one of the benches then after chatting for a bit, she started getting sleepy, I soon realized she had dozed off and placed her head on my shoulders. I assure you it's not me-me that's doing it. It was dream-me. And the next thing I knew I was about steal a kiss... THE FUCK!

next was wednesday night, My family and I went to this mall since there was this sort of party being held there. I then came across this girl who confessed to me and said if we could go out. At first I was slightly freaked out and said, "Let's get to know each other first" then I took her number and left. I was soon getting bored in the party and decided to walk around. I decided to walk around the mall a bit and since I didn't want to be alone, invited the girl to go with me. We soon came along a carnival built in the mall and decided to take rollercoaster(I'm afraid of height so why?). She was scared as well but I decided to hold her hands. She seemed a bit relieved and nodded. As soon as we got to the front of the ticket booth, I left her a few minutes and got our tickets, when I saw getting hit on by some other guys working there I got extreme mad for some reason, I told her we were leaving and asked her to go first. I then went back to the staff and started shouting at them. :)), When I went back to meet up the girl I told her don't do that again and hugged her...

HAHAHA, I don't know if my minds betraying me or I'm delusional. :))

Books

Finished tow books today, a novel and a graphic novel... :)), that's an achievement for me never was the kind to take interest in literature... :)), the first book is Vampire High: Sophomore Years a direct sequel of the first book with the same title minus the sophomore part. The second book is Witch and Wizard, a graphic novel made from the novel with the same name. I've started looking for pdf files of the actual novels since there seems to be three books in the entire series... I hope there would be more.

Comic Oddessey

Today the guys from humaart (my groupmates) went to robinson galleria to visit the event called Supercrooks. It featured new works done by local comic book artists and writers who works under Marvel and other known comicbook companies. And amazingly we were able to speak and interview some of the more famous ones... :)), tangina that's the only word I can think to describe the joy I have today.

Vampire High

My family went to SM today, so I decided to take my usual walk alone in Greenbelt. I passed by Powerbooks once again and walked through the corridors passing through the shelves filled with books that both interested me and didn't. I passed by the young adult section and looked at the same display they had the last time I visited, but then I paused once again at this one book that has been on my wish list since the first time I saw it. At first I hesitated but after a few times looking at it, I finally decided to buy it.

I won't give a summary about the book but I recommend it. It walks about teenage acceptance and I find that kind of topic interesting, not to mention it did have some elements of romance in it, something I truly appreciate from a good author. I don't know what you guys might think of it but I'll rate it a 5/5 because it's one of those books that actually shows character growth... :)) And it's definitely a better love story than twilight.

Mahou Sensei Negima

Mahou Sensei Negima, from the same writer of Love Hina Ken Akamatsu, has finally came to came to an end. After 9 years worth of story, it is one of the best manga I have ever read. That is my opinion of course, but to read a story where there is an obvious growth from the characters then I think everything's worth it. :) This is the last page of the last chapter and for me one of the most inspirational words any manga could give to it's reader. I salute you Akamatsu sensei and I wish to read more of your works.

Faces

Alam kong di ka mahilig magsalita pero kapag nakakausap kita online man o harap harapan pakiramdam ko bawat salita mo may tinatago... Kaibigan kita pero sana man lang kung ayaw mo sa akin sabihin mo... :)) nakakabadtrip lang na alam mong pinagiisipan ka ng masama ng taong pinagkakatiwalaan mo.. :))

Festival

I just spend half a day with an old friend at Festival mall down at the south... The day was surely a blast if not for all the walking I had to do... But playing air hockey, singing at a karaoke and scoring a hundred, and simply walking around the mall was sure fun. :)... plan plan ulit for the next time we go out... :)

Sims

I have been recently addicted to The Sims 3... :))... shit... I have been playing it for two whole days now and the number of family members I have is 6. 2 female adults, 1 young adult, 1 female toddler, and female triplets who are still babies... :)), shit... I might get 1 adult, 1 female child and 3 toddlers tomorrow making my life harder, but who gives a fuck... :)), shit...

2012: truly the end

Everyone says that 2012 is the end of the world. I won't say that's not true, I don't have the right. Anyway... the thing that I had noticed though, is that almost all the good mangas that I had read are almost over... :))

Cage of Eden

I have started reading this manga called Cage of Eden where a huge cast of characters are left stranded on an unmapped island on the middle of nowhere. The story starts out pretty harsh when people starts dying and killing each other but as the story moves on I'm starting to see a direction on things. From the struggle of finding a way out of the mysterious island, the people who have the strongest wills have started getting used in surviving in the wilderness and soon we see the concept of people building a country...

This story is really amazing. A story where evolution is key.

Black Rock Shooter

Just finished the second episode of BRS and when I thought they'll make it into four arcs with two episodes each I was proven utterly wrong. Black Gold Saw finally shows herself... :))... and it seems like she'll be the reason behind all of BRS' problems... hell yeah! I hope to see a lot of development from this anime even though it's so short...

9gag

With 9gag's new format, I don't think I'll ever sleep

Funny

You guys know the revision in the handbook? At first I was like, shit... I can finally get a chance again... but then i realized I didn't just get a grade below 2.0, I actually failed some subject... Oh well... that sucks... :))

Fucked up House

The pass few days, I have been coming up with a story that concerns demons and angels and some of the names that keeps popping out of my head are the names of some of the most popular devils in christian lore... And I do this while walking around outside in the dark. But ironically that's not the weird part. The weird part happens when the sun starts to set or it starts to get really late. The first two nights of terror started when i see large bats flying around the trees near my house... I didn't give them much as a single glance since they disappear immediately. The third night, a saw a really large bug flying near the swing i sat on... Now thing start getting scary. Tonight was the worst. I was simple walking and I could have sworn I heard weird sounds coming from no where. It sounded something like "ik-ik" But I'm not sure... I tried searching for its source then the idea of a manananggal flying around behind hit me and I quickly walked back into the house... :))... fml. I also forgot to mention that when these thing started, I think i smell the stick of cockroaches in the bathroom every time I take a bath. fml some more.

High School DxD

This is one of the more newer anime this year, a life of your average high schooler getting drawn into a world of demons and angels. But seeing as the entire series has just started I tried searching for the manga, I got bored so I went for the next big thing... the light novel, it's original publication. And after finishing three volumes of the story, I have to say the view of the author about religion is quite interesting. The one that truly caught my attention though was the fact that people can get consumed by their own faith. They lose tract of what's right and starts believing that the teachings of their church is absolute... I don't know if that's the intention of the writer but that's the impression I'm getting. People so absorbed by their beliefs start believing there is only absolute good and absolute evil, it's even funny that this is the christian view of things. But what if we're wrong? What if everything we knew about our faith is mislead, what if there are things that are kept behind our backs. Many questions are left unanswered by the church...

Persona

remember how the Persona games gave us the ability to acquire multiple personae? How excited we were when we get stronger and stronger demons as the game proceeded. But to me this is not only applicable in the game.

All of us show a different side of who we are when we hang out with different groups of people. We may act like its nothing but there are parts of who we are that we subconsciously suppress or show at different occasions. Now that's said... Let me ask you... Who are you really and how much of who you do you really know?

Music

It's so beautiful that a single song can remind you of so many things. Memories, Promises, Happiness, and Pain. Last night while listening to a good friend sing a song dedicated to the debutant, I realized so many things. Memories of people I wish I would never forget, Promises that I have stopped trying to fulfill because I knew that it would be a hopeless cause, Happiness that I wished I could acquire but still seems so far away, and Pain that seems to come with letting go and moving forward... :))

So many thoughts rushed passed me in that instant that I completely lost my self to anything around me.

Dreams

I finally had a dream. The problem? I'm not sure if I should be happy or sad. The dream had two parts and both had something to do with WG.

The first part is something special, I won't delve into the details but t was something that really made me smile. To me, it was the highlight of my dream. But sadly like all dreams, it was something I knew I can never have. Something that I can never fulfill. But none the less, it was something that gives me strength.

The second part was something the crazy me would likely come up with. This part was simple enough. All of the senior members of WG were graduating, leaving the scribes behind. But ironically, none of the scribes became officers. Instead, there was another batch of officers coming after Moe. We never knew them and they just came out one day to take over the place of our friends. They were more like slave drivers rather than leaders... Well that was the end... I woke up after I built the stage... :))... Screw you officers in my dreams I never got to know!

Stupid things :))

Okay so I was taking a bath when this random idea came to me. You know how there are professors out there who think their words are law? Well what if you can troll these professors and make them hate you that much that they are willing to do anything to embarrass you in public. Lie for example paying for your study in a whole different course, they might think it's their home turf and all but wouldn't it be beneficial to students as well. I mean look, all you have to do is say some total BS things at his class then humiliate him in class so badly that he'll think you're sizing him up in his own field. :))...

You get free education, a name, and a hell of a good time... :3

Projects

So the school has finally kicked in and i have finally found the after school projects I think i can finally put my heart into.

First is the visual novel Raph and I plan on making. We still haven't really talked about it. But there's still a lot of time, so no rush. If we get it started though, it would really be great if there are any others interested in the thing. I mean it's a visual novel? Many great animes started out with things like this. Fate/Stay is a great example.

Second is a practicing writing - again-. I found this site called wattpad and it has caught my interest in so many ways. Unlike fanfiction and fictionpress which I admit are great places to get feedbacks for your week. I think wattpad can give any writer a great step up in the field. There are many great works and great editors, willing to help you out. And if you think your work is good enough? there are actually people willing to make covers for your books.

Third is to find other hobbies. Writing is a passion but I think it's time to find something new. But that's a story for another time... :))

FINALLY ZERO NO TSUKAIMA! THE FINAL SEASON IS OUT! CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SUBS! here's the opening.... hahaha

Otaku Education

I got the dummest idea ever... :). so blogging isn't my thing and I always stop when I get bored over one thing. But considering I don't have anything better to do I decided to write things I learn from games, anime, and manga I have played, watched, and read. naisip ko to dahil dun sa pinost si Sean about placing stuff into his blog... :3 HAHAHAHA